Wow. It’s been awhile since we’ve been here, hasn’t it? Unless you’re new here. (If you are, hi and welcome!) I missed this. So much more than I thought I would, if I’m being honest.
If you’ve met me in the past few years, you probably had no idea that writing was such a huge part of me. And it’s because I too, forgot that it was such a huge part of me.
Being an adult is so weird. I know people say it all the time, but we really are just out here winging it and pretending that we know what we’re doing. In reality, all we’re doing (because it’s all we can do) is taking it one day at a time and hoping for the best.
I’ll be the first to say that I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time. I just know and try to live by, “If it doesn’t make me happy, I don’t want it.” Easier said than done, because like I said, being an adult is WEIRD. Like, I don’t think doing laundry or getting car insurance necessarily makes me happy, but it has to get done, right? Navigating that balance is tricky and is one of the (unfortunate) reasons that I gave this blog up in the first place.
When I first had this blog, I was also diving into my (failed) business venture as a Virtual Assistant. Now, I really shouldn’t call this a failure. It did bring me a steady income, taught me a lot of new skills, and made me feel empowered as a young adult running her own business. I saw it as a career opportunity, which was something I didn’t have anywhere else at the time.
But, I loved my blog and sharing it with my little corner of the internet. I attempted to monetize it, and when that didn’t work, I saw it as a failure. Honestly, one of the first things I had ever actually failed at in my entire life.
So I decided to give it up. I thought that making money from something was the most important piece of the puzzle. And if I’m being truthful, it felt embarrassing to think I failed at something.
I went all in on my VA business. At one point, I had 10 separate clients I was managing. I was running so many social media pages, running the backend of several business, and because I had no actual training or knowledge of how to run this business, I was severely undercharging for the extent of my services and availability.
This led to me having severe burnout, an overwhelming loss of my sense of self, and it deteriorated my mental health. I cried most days and dreaded waking up in the mornings. I stopped taking care of myself and felt like I was on my phone every waking second of the day.
So I quit. Failed. Again.
It took me a long, long time to get to this conclusion, but failing is not a bad thing.
Failing just means you tried. And that you probably learned a lesson. Your experience is not meant to make you feel like a failure, but meant to teach you something that nothing but that experience can teach you.
For me, it was learning that no job, career, or amount of income is worth sacrificing your mental health.
“If it doesn’t make me happy, I don’t want it.” I definitely lost sight of this. Not because I was necessarily unhappy with my life, but because I never truly stopped to reflect on my emotions and how I was feeling.
All of that to say that this happened over a year ago and I STILL have been hesitant to restart this blog because I’m scared of what other people will think.
Like I said earlier, I’ll be the first to admit that I have no idea what I’m doing. But I do know that writing makes me incredibly happy and is something that’s really, really good for my mental health. And I know from feedback I got the first time around that sharing my experiences helped others feel like they’re not alone.
So here’s to going into round two with zero expectations. I don’t have a plan. All I know is that if I have the ability to do something that makes me happy while helping even just one person along the way, I should.
Remember that you’re never alone, and you’ve always been enough, just as you are. My DMs are always open.
Sincerely,
Kylie <3