Everyone always asks me if being married feels “different”.
Everyone is always surprised when my answer is no, not really.
Austin and I have been together for almost 5 years. One of the things I talked about in my vows was how from the very beginning, we’ve always been on exactly the same page with what we wanted out of our relationship.
They say “When you know, you know” but I truly think it’s “When you commit, you commit.”
Not much has truly changed about our relationship or our day to day life since we got married a year ago. And I believe that’s because we choose to love each other every single day. We choose to work through the hard things, to be there for each other, to give more when the other is struggling.
We committed to each other from the very beginning, and our marriage was just another natural step of that commitment to love each other every day.
When we got engaged, Austin and I talked a lot about how we didn’t want to do our marriage “traditionally”. We both felt like marriage is (most of the time) automatically associated with having kids, getting a house and “settling down.”
And we were honest with ourselves. We knew that not only was that not what we wanted, but that we were nowhere near ready to take those steps.
I personally always knew I wanted to have a large chunk of time between getting married and starting a family. I knew this was exactly what I wanted because it’s what my parents did before they had me.
My parents got married young. By today’s standards, and the shocked expressions we still get when meeting new people and telling them that we’re married, I would say Austin and I also got married pretty young.
My parents waited 9 years after they got married to have me (I’m the oldest). Nine.
And my mom always told me about how much she loved it. They got to spend time with each other just being married – figuring out what they wanted to do with their lives, having fun with their friends, traveling, making sure their finances were in order, and all in all just enjoying their life.
Because once you have kids, everything changes. Everyone knows that. Your life HAS to change in order to take care of them.
I can’t even tell you the amount of times we’ve been asked when we’re having kids. Or when we plan to buy a house and where that house will be. Or how many kids we want, what schools they’ll go to, how we’ll raise them…. It goes on and on.
I LOVE being married young. Mostly because I love seeing the look on people’s faces when I tell them we’re 25 and 27, have already been married for a year, live in an apartment in Florida, go to raves all the time, and don’t plan on having kids for several more years.
People are always surprised because it’s generally assumed that you can’t do both. That being married means you HAVE to settle down.
Just here to throw my two cents in and remind you that you’re always allowed to do something different and outside the norm 😉
You can be more than one thing. You can also completely stick to traditions. Do whatever makes YOU happy, and don’t let anyone else influence your decisions. That’s always when I’ve felt the most fulfilled <3
Remember that you’re never alone, and you’ve always been enough, just as you are. My DMs are always open.
Sincerely,
Kylie